


Something Other Than This Mess That I Am

by logictron



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 05:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10824612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logictron/pseuds/logictron
Summary: Post 219: Maggie and Lucy let Kara have some time with Alex. Maggie has some processing to do. Minor TW for brief discussions of child abuse. This is my first fic in a really, really long time. Be gentle!





	Something Other Than This Mess That I Am

It takes a few days, before Maggie and Lucy are ready to let her go. They know Alex isn't theirs (well, not only theirs), that the threat wasn't only to their blissful little triad. So when Kara requests a night alone with Alex, Maggie and Lucy let her go.  
  
And in Maggie's brain, she imagines a night of the eight millionth Friends marathon with Thai food and wine, but almost as soon as Alex is gone, Lucy turns off the TV and squares her attention on Maggie.  
  
"Talk to me," she says, though it's more of a request than a demand. Maggie should've known she wasn't getting out of this one. She sighs and shrugs, pulling her knees up to her chest, picking at the edge of the blanket draped across her lap.  
  
"I'm fine," she says eventually, the rest of her thoughts failing to organize. Even if she wanted to talk, she's not sure she could just now. And for a second, she wonders if Lucy's going to push her--she can all but feel Lucy's eyes narrow--but instead, Lucy nods.  
  
"I know," she says. "But...when you want to talk, I'm here."  
  
Maggie nods and scoots a little closer to Lucy. Things aren't quite as fluid between them without Alex here as a buffer. They work, and it's getting better, but neither of them are used to letting people take care of them, so things jar a little, from time to time. But four days is a long time to hold everything together, and Maggie's slipping, even though she really is fine. Alex is fine. They're all fine.  
  
"Come here," Lucy coaxes, reaching out in invitation. Maggie hesitates only briefly before obliging, sinking into her arms. And they stay just like that for a while. Longer than it's comfortable to do so. "Hungry?" Just as Maggie's about to shift because she's stiff and sore, Lucy speaks.  
  
"Maybe," Maggie agrees, stretching, breathing, her chest a little lighter than it was before.  
  
"Thai?" Lucy says, reaching up to brush the hair out of Maggie's face. Just short of the threshold where Maggie would flinch, where she'd find it a little harder to breathe, Lucy stops, her hand dropping, her lip catching under her teeth in silent apology.  
  
"Yeah," Maggie whispers, reaching for Lucy's hand, bringing it to her cheek, leaning into it. "That sounds good." She watches Lucy breathe again, watches her key the number into her phone and place their usual order (Alex hates Thai food, so it's always just them).  
  
"Kay," Lucy says.  
  
It's not until the food comes and Maggie's halfway through her pad pik king that the words fall into place somehow.  
  
"It was...his mom used to hit him," she says. To her credit, Lucy merely nods, swallowing her pad thai. "Hearing him talk about it...about what it was like to hide, to not have anyone notice...for a minute, I felt sorry for the guy. I actually understood where he was coming from. Because that was me,you know. I got it."  
  
Lucy sips her wine and lets Maggie's words settle before she says anything. "You know, he's not you, Maggie. Just because parts of you are the same, because your stories overlap, it doesn't make you like him." She thinks of her father, of her sister, of the fear that builds in her chest sometimes when she catches glimpses of them inside her. "And we...we got Alex back because of you. Your compassion and levelheadedness, your ability to really see him, not just as the guy who kidnapped Alex, but as a person with a backstory and a motive. You are excellent at what you do, Maggie, and maybe that has something to do with your childhood. But maybe it doesn't. And you know what, it doesn't matter. What matters is who you are now."  
  
Maggie nods and wipes her eyes, a little mad at how easy it is for her to cry these days. "It's just really hard to forget that when everything comes back so easily...I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere at all."  
  
"Come here," Lucy says, for the second time that evening, forgetting about dinner for the time being. And Maggie is grateful for the invitation, because she needs it, but she's terrible at asking. And Lucy gets that, so they're learning. "You're here," Lucy says, wrapping her arms carefully around Maggie, pressing a kiss to her temple.  
  
"I'm here." And right now, 'here' feels about as far away from hidden bruises and screaming matches as she can get.  
  
"Thank you," Lucy says, her lips grazing Maggie's hairline. "For talking to me. For letting me in. And for saving her."  
  
Maggie knows, can imagine, how difficult it is for Lucy. She'd had no idea what was going on until it was over. She gets it now, why Lucy hates being away so much, why the days leading up to her departure are always a little dark and fraught with tension. She makes a mental note to be extra aware in the future.  
  
"I'd do it for you too, you know," Maggie says, stroking her hand over Lucy's arm where it's safely anchored around her waist.  
  
"You know, Sawyer, I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." Maggie can hear the affection bleeding into Lucy's voice, and this is ground she's familiar with. The last vestiges of tension ebb from her.  
  
"Yeah, well, get used to it, Lane. I'm not going anywhere." And Maggie can't quite explain it, but it feels like a new version of 'home'. This, she could get used to.


End file.
